Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Electric kettle without electricity

How does anyone feel this listless is beyond me but right now, all that is jumping at incredible speed from one atom of my being to the other is making every ticking second feel like a day. I feel like I haven't rested in a long while, nobody loves me and everyone is taking me seriously today when all I want to do is have a really relaxed time, doing nothing but stroll around the entire office premises like as if I am my own boss. Even jokes I crack are not laughed at. Did I wake up not being funny today? I should be my own boss. I wonder how my boss has all these legacy under his belt and he is a very young man. I should eye him closely next time we are in the same room instead of taking note of his tempo as his voice rise and fall in a way you wouldn't imagine of a guy of his prestige.

A friend was telling me a joke about a 30-year-old unmarried woman and how an old lady always suggested it was her turn next to get married at every wedding they attended together. One day, they met at a funeral and the 30-year-old woman told the old lady her turn was next. My listless has gone to an extend of not being able to remember her age though it was sprouted a few words before. The root of all this lethargy is in course of all the immigration stuffs and the way all government officials and offices works in Nepal. It is absolutely disheartening to see our country in all its possible glories and making myself understand it will probably never be glorified to its full right. I wish I could do something for my Motherland instead of just wishing for a change, for a brighter future. 

I came to Nepal hating my Nepali identity. Five years on, I do not want to leave this place. This is where I call my home and where I want to call home forever, where I want to raise my kids and make sure they are proud of their heritage. I love Nepal, the beauty of our country is compared to none - our snow-capped mountains, trekking zones and preserved areas where electricity and phone lines are probably going to reach in the next two years, forget internet connections, the male cows grazing the grass in the middle of the road, pot-holed roads which often causes accidents than not, the rickshaw drivers and the taxi drivers who bargains like housewives over the fares and the almost always sardine packed micro vans with at lease one guaranteed passenger with a terrible body odor and luck has you seated next to. The beauty is immense, in the people's lively eyes and happy faces. I looked at the faces of every person that I walked by today on the way to work and everyone looked happy, maybe it was just a look they pasted and have gotten used to faking it but something about this relaxed society has got to be the heart of fruit. Where will I ever get to be part of such a community who just doesn't give a damn about politics and can 'turn a deaf ear' simply because they rather have chai and watch Hindi serials? Or a place where I can talk Nepali and laugh, talk politics even and pretend to understand it because there is really not much to understand about it as it is full of confusion. I always tell people; if America is the land of dreams, Nepal is the land of opportunities because so many fields in Nepal is not looked into. Everyone in this forsaken country is either a doctor or working with NGO or INGO, etc. to comply with the societal norms, so can you imagine the number of people we need in all other prospects of getting a functional country such as the Arts and Recreations? There is so much to Nepal than any one of us will ever be able to link to, you just need to fall in love with the country and see the country's shambles in a lighter note to understand my point of view. 

And so, my colleagues are hurdled around an electric kettle as I write my fondness for Nepal and trying to figure out a way to boil some water for coffee with the line is down elsewhere except this side of the office that I am in (it has generator connections). Load shedding is a bitch but it is a pretty bitch, if not for load shedding, do you think we would have something to laugh about and something to figure about right this moment? I don't think so. I bid my goodbye with a cup of warm coffee in hand while my colleagues walk around figuring the kettle and its plug for hot water. They happened to like me quite a lot because whatever hot water was left in the kettle was poured out to make a cup of coffee for me. Or perhaps it was my depressive state and out of pity, more than love, I have this cup before me. Now if only this heart of mine did not feel like it wants to die from the caffeine attack, this instance would have been the perfect Nescafe moment for me - with load shedding and all, the cute bunch of colleagues and a tempo buzzing away on the road outside my office. 


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