Thursday, June 21, 2018

What's happening?

I have always loved writing, and writing has always come easily for me. Writing has always been my emotional outlet but somewhere along the way, I lost my touch. Someone once told me, "Don't ever stop writing, ever!"

At that point in life, I had the biggest eye roll moment and I said something in the lines of..."Writing is the way I function so I really don't see myself stop." Lies, lies, big fat lies. I stopped somewhere in the last few years. I stopped writing personal blog post. Although I still do some freelance writing that does not touch any parts of my emotion, it is never the same. Now writing feels like a strage dead-weight I am dragging around.

In the last few years, I have had a baby, who is already four years and a bit more. An amazing little daughter who I feel I let down more than I inspire her. I have also dreamed and lost several dreams along the way. I have now reached adulthood and I have realised this is hard and so I stopped attaching myself to words so they do not drag me down. I stopped attaching myself to words so I did not have to let anyone read what's happening in my life. While I do say loud and clearly of whats happening to me, its always somewhat a rushed whisper that I almost wish for the wind to blow away before someone hears it.

So life has been a bit hard, maybe it is not hard. Maybe it is just how adulthood is but I just never saw it coming. So that is what is happening. So I will keep trying, and trying. And one day, let's hope all the pieces fall into the right places and all this emotions will be a far away distance memory we will just sigh at and be glad its in the past.