Sunday, February 3, 2013

Lessons after lessons

Well, I always thought I was or could be Bree Van de Kamp (Marcia Cross) of Wisteria Lane, now I am pretty sure I am old Karen McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten). For those of you who can't put an image to the two characters, Bree is modern day Stanford wife who cooks delicious and her roses are always in full pretty bloom and Karen is just an old fart (excuse me) who is always seen snooping around and gossiping. When we were kids, my parents used to say we were lucky that we were educated and not mowing the fields with buffalos. I never used to think much of it but today as I was gardening the smallest patch of our backyard garden, their words rung so loudly. Ladies and gentlemen, parents are seldom in the wrong. Oh, how I was dreaming of plucking my own fresh ripen red tomatoes from my own garden and other produces! I think we also made a mistake in purchasing the wrong sized (too tiny, we bought) tools for gardening but I am beaming some confidence in my herb garden and my blue hydrangeas. They were something I always wanted as young girl and now, brushing my fingers through their growing leaves and smelling my fingers flips my stomach is much excitement. It is a dream come true and they make me so happy. They are my babies. Yes, I am also the weird blogger who blogs about her plants (offense to anyone is unintended) than her human babies.

The past two weeks have been extremely intense. Making a home from scratch is not easy, trust me you! I am never one to enjoy shopping, especially with another person and that is exactly what we have been doing, over and over again and constantly on the lookout for a good bargain for the best. The only problem was, I have no idea how to qualify the price and quantify the good. The dollar game is such a tricky game, thankfully, I never found myself stopping once to compare the price of each item with Nepalese currency and it was too many unfamiliar brands to absorb at once for which I am thankful for my sister's nosing around with everything in my hand and throwing out 9.9/10 picks, saying I will find better deals - which would have been a good thing until it has left me too afraid to purchase anything without her consultation. I am usually the kind of shopper who picks and buys whatever I like even though it is too expensive because I am also the kind who thinks I deserve it all but now, it is totally different. Without thinking, I cannot wait to start earning to cover my own living, and even my luxurious expenses. It's more about my independence than depreciating gentleman's open invitation as a sugar daddy.

Most days, I think I am settling fine, even though too many days are tougher than the rest but every step is a lesson to learn. When you are much younger and less rigid about changes, because when you are young what else do you care for except a new toy or something in the line, it is easier to adapt but as you are older, a new toy or something I really love, is not enough to not zone out and be less afraid even though an actual fear is not present. Everything is new and everything is heart stopping and a second thought over. It's deep scrutiny over all I come across which includes my own actions. . It's a lot of discovery and a lot of wandering eyes figuring this new arena. Learning when the rest has already learnt is just appalling, I feel like an alien (well, I am an alien, aren't I) and strangers' eyes feel uneasy. I feel like a blinking strobe when I just want to be the darkest light. The other day I was going about photocopying my documents but since everything is computerised and something I have never done before, my heart was in my mouth. Back home, you would just chuck the papers to be copied to the owner because he wouldn't trust us poking his old machines and get the job done and pay but here, everyone is just on the go and everyone just wants to help themselves and be left at that. It's lessons after lessons.

I am an introvert who becomes an extrovert only in places and with people I am comfortable with, if not it is just eyes down and little to say.  I will be lying if I say I don't wish to be back home in my perfect comfort zone but then, I remember this is home, as well.

Additional add on: Holy crap,  Blogger the host for my blog changed my URL with an additional (dot)au and I just realized it. Come on already, no more changes!

With love,

No comments:

Post a Comment