Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Catching up on a lot of (baby) updates

You would think a million other reasons that would finally make me write again, and I can bet you over my gorgeous wedding ring that I can no longer fit comfortably into since last week, you would never imagine it to be the bloody Melbourne heat. It is about 40 degrees hot outside. It technically feels like I am a dish in an hot and dry convectional oven. I wish I felt more like a red velvet cake baking than a stuffed, fat and old chicken. Week 32 onward of baby making has started to become the idea of a mournful, groan-filled, small lunged and a rather agonizing painful pregnancy.

I am swollen. My soles are so battered from the 12-14kg I have put on so far. My baby belly is so small, my husband calls me confused - I look a toss of fat on some days and on other lucky days when Alivya decides she wants to have fun at squeezing both my bladder and lungs simultaneously, a wonder how a tiny little bub can do so much in so little space, I look about 5-6 months pregnant. My husband's favorite words are, "She must be so small!" Today, he said, "You definitely don't look like you are at your last month... Women at this stage are frighteningly huge! You don't look scary." But something must have happened to my size if I can no longer fit into most of my clothes and I gladly live in my husband's very, very worn t-shirts. Also, thank God, my bust size didn't increase much or at all, because that would have made my belly look even more compact than it already is. On a blessing note, I am still stretch marks free and belly button is not looking like it is going to pop out at 34 weeks and three days today.

I haven't updated much since we found out she is a girl. I made the sonographer check her sex twice that day, at the start of the scan at 20 weeks and towards the end of the almost two hour long session with lunch in between. Alivya is stubborn just like daddy and me. She hates the ultrasound wand on her. She literally kicked it away at it at the 13 weeks' scan and then refused to turn around at 20 weeks. We did catch her making a peace "twist" sign with her fingers though. She has 10 toes and 10 fingers. We counted! And tears welled up in my eyes when I learned she was a girl. I thought it was a boy all along but knew she was a girl. At around 18-19th weeks, I had a dream that I had just given birth to a baby and I was about to nurse it for the first time since delivery and husband and I sneaked a peak at the baby's genitals. It was clear girl part.

Since then, her name has been Alivya (Alivia; before her daddy decided A-Liv-Ya sounded like I love you and we loved it!) Alivya was a name I had long chosen for my daughter and every guy I met and thought I was head over heels in love with didn't agree with the name until I met Alivya's daddy. That made me say yes to marrying him. And while we were hunting around for the perfect Nepalese name for the middle, we came up with nothing until her daddy decided she is gonna be named Alivya Rose. Absolutely-out-of-the-world PERFECT! My sisters have probably gotten used to her name by now but in the start they thought Rose sounded too Filipino but I reckon they still harbor fears she will come out looking like "Kalpana" or something else. My dad calls her Rose, so lovingly.

I started feeling her movements obviously around the 22nd week and after much, much frustrations and giving up on her daddy ever begin able to feel her cute little dances, one morning at 26 weeks, she kicked her daddy's bum - literally. The night before, I caught him smoking after quitting it for some time and I wasn't happy at all and in the morning, it was like as if his daughter was telling him off and saying he is just too naughty.  I thought he hadn't felt it but then he turns around and quips, "Did she just kick?!" It was a celebration.

Now at 34 weeks, they are best friends and awesome play buddies. Daddy taps and she taps back. She is definitely Daddy's Little Girl and I am not even the slightest jealous he loves her more than he loves me. I think we have settled almost everything and are just waiting for her safe arrival. My in-laws are coming over to help us with the baby next week and I am 80% excited about it, 20% not so because we are so used to living alone and in our own context and freedom. I hope their stay will be only for the better.

At 34 weeks, I am not currently working. I completed my studies by the end of my 6th month pregnancy. And now, its all week by week for us and soon it will be day by day and eventually its just a matter of seconds. So far, my husband has been the strongest pillar of strength for me. While he enrages me and I know he would want to kill me too often, I am where I am because he held on strongly to me and for me and for our little budding family. Yes, pregnancy has changed my bodies in the worst ways, I am 90% of the time cranky or moody but he is still around for the better and for the worst. And for this, I am very grateful.

With love,