Monday, August 12, 2013

Letter to our first child: Week 4

I think we are expecting you. I haven't been experiencing anything funky except Miss Scarlett decided she doesn't want to visit me this month, so I am two days late. It is amazing that there is no breast tenderness, bloating or all those things early pregnancy symptoms tend to be. Maybe, a few days ago when I got so angry at your Daddy for wearing his work cargo pants on a weekend, while we go shopping for furniture and  I burst into the darkest of fireworks, was probably one of my signs. While this hasn't really come with a huge surprise, we wish you had given us a little more chance to settle down but baby, you are so wanted.Your darling Daddy and I were planning to have you mid-year 2015 but I guess you couldn't wait to join us.  I can't imagine what else will make your Daddy more happier than you will and I am counting down the week from now impatiently (and little dread) as I pee on a test stick and wave to your Daddy a positive.

Your Daddy is really fantastic with kids. Me, on the other hand, I am horrible..terrible with kids. I lack the patience, I am very temperamental and way too moody for my own good. I hope you will be like your Daddy and know that is how I am and let me be because without all those, I am not me. With you entering our lives soon, plans of ours are going to have a take a long hike until you and your siblings are old enough to leave us to our own world. I am glad you have entered our lives now, impolitely because baby, I was always afraid of the idea of falling pregnant, the hardship of motherhood and going through the whole career setbacks. But I am accepting the fact that you were meant to be and I am convinced to struggle to pass through my exams and with flying color, definitely, while I still have you in my tummy. Life after all is all about endurance.

You are a motivation for each of us to be better person and I don't know how this is possible but there is so much love for you consuming my entire now and we are not even sure you exist. Your Daddy still believes Miss Scarlett just got lost around the way and will be knocking soon and more than I will admit, I hope he is right. Miss Scarlett, could you please come, please! But signs of pregnancy are getting pronounced or perhaps, I am just over thinking. I made some momos for lunch with my a friend and family, and had some leftovers for dinner as well. Daddy is away at work, so as we speak and I feel a little nauseated but that could highly be because I wasn't really wow about the momos and I could have over stuffed myself to feed my hunger than craving or because it tasted delicious.

Dear baby, we hope we are not pregnant but if we are, we can't wait to meet you!

Love,
Mummy

*11 June 2013

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